8/31/10 – Road Work Ahead, Motorcyclists Use Extreme Caution

This morning I walked next door for breakfast at O’Brady’s Family Restaurant. The décor was reminiscent of circa Brady Bunch 1974 and the waitresses were of similar vintage. They all looked the same: 4” gray roots with some other unnatural hair color, sunken eyes with deep black circles, husky voices and a surly disposition. Coincidentally, every booth was stocked with a rack of books, so I picked-up a book entitled “How to Cheer Up Crabby People”. The inside flap read “Back in 1857, a small group of abolitionists crept into a military compound at Harpers Ferry VT, WY or KA [We’re not sure which]. They either surrounded or shot the sleeping guards and yelled “Trick or Treat” [OK, we don’t know what they yelled because it was a long time ago]. But the point is that by doing this, these crabby people made the entire South so crabby that they shot and hung the abolitionists. This, in turn, made the rest of the abolitionists’ friends crabby, and before you could say “The South is Toast!”, we had a whole mess of battles where lots of crabby people killed thousands of other crabby people. The point is, you just never know when someone around you might be crabby enough to start a civil war.” So after reading this, I was nice to my waitress and I bit my lip about the décor. Breakfast was good.

As I departed Idaho Falls, I witnessed the falls for which it is named. These falls are only about 20’ high, but they are about ½ mile long and there’s a pretty park all around them. Like every major city in ID, the Snake River runs through it. The first 20 miles out of ID Falls was a slow ride due to road construction and I hit at least 6 sections of highway under construction throughout eastern ID and western WY. Lots of gravel and freshly tarred asphalt don’t make for good riding conditions, but I can attest that your tax dollars are hard at work. I saw hundreds of supervisors and a few workers repaving miles of interstate highway today. Apart from the road work, the ride was fantastic as I snaked my way towards the Grand Tetons [get it, snaked, Snake River, never mind]. Amber waves of grain and green potato farms gave way to purple mountains majesty and some phenomenal twisty mountain roads. The weather was comfortable, but cool, breezy and mostly cloudy.

Jackson Hole is a pretty little tourist trap that looks like a cross between Calistoga, CA and Scottsdale, AZ, but with more mountains, antlers and Wild West atmosphere. The town has 8,000 residents and 35,000 tourists from everywhere. I checked into a hotel and headed out to the Grand Tetons. It’s time to bust out your Bucket List again. These mountains jut-out straight up from the flat sage brush plains. This must have been the inspiration for Jon Anderson’s lyrics for the Yes tune Roundabout “Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there.” The only thing similar that I've seen are the Swiss Alps. I saw a nest with a pair of Harrier Hawks and one was carrying a fish back to the nest.

As the sun started to set, it got cold and I changed into my winter gauntlet gloves and headed back to the Visitor’s Center in Jackson Hole. They gave me some maps and we charted my course through Grand Tetons and Yellowstone. However, I was warned that it will take two days to see Yellowstone and there’s a 40% chance of snow and road closures tomorrow. Oh well, we’ll play it by ear since there is no set plan for this trip. There are worse places to be stuck than Jackson Hole, WY.

8/30/10 – Traversing the Land of Famous Potatoes

I awoke to cold and rain, but after breakfast it was mostly sunny and perfect for a ride. As I set out from Boise, I was struck by the number of churches and religious billboards, mostly Protestant and Mormon. One billboard was like a huge Jumbotron flashing endless passages from the bible. It was like a gigantic version of the dude who sits in the end zone at 49ers games holding a John 3:17 banner. It was kinda creepy if you ask me; and dangerous too, because people were staring at it as they drove by.

I logged over 400 miles today, but only covered about 300 miles as the crow flies. Today I learned to watch road signs closely. My plan was to follow Hwy 20 all the way to Idaho Falls and then take Hwy 26 to Jackson Hole, WY. As I learned the hard way, Hwy 20, 26 and 93 all share the same roadway in certain areas and it’s very confusing. Accordingly, I got to see Twin Falls, Idaho which added about 100 miles to my journey, but rewarded me with a spectacular view of the Snake River Canyon nearby where Evil Knevel tried unsuccessfully to ride his rocket bike across the gorge back in the 70’s.

Overall, today’s ride was spectacular as I experienced long stretches of desert, steep buttes, volcanic rock and lots of agriculture, mostly potato and corn fields. I’ve noticed the clouds are better out here than back home. There are big puffy ones, light wispy ones, thunderheads, ones that are sheered-off as if cut by a hot knife, and you can even see the rain coming down from dark clouds off in the distance. I avoided rain for the most part, but I experienced areas of gusty winds that were intense. I’ve decided that high cross-winds are worse than rain. At one point today I was leaning sideways into the wind just to keep the bike moving straight. Another thing I’ve learned on this trip is that approximately 2 seconds after passing an oncoming truck on a two lane highway, you get hit with an intense vortex of wind caused by the truck that buffets the bike violently. I also noticed that the trucks with a big sloping canopy over the cab reduce this effect considerably. The effect is worse in the rain because you get hit with both wind and a blast of water spray, but my new windshield provides complete protection from the wet.

I stopped at Craters of the Moon National Monument this afternoon and met Rex Covington from Houston, TX and his grown daughter who are traveling all around the western states on his beautiful Victory motorcycle. This bike is made by Polaris, the Canadian maker of snowmobiles and jet-skies. It’s a very big and unique ride, unlike the wannabe Harley’s offered by the Japanese bike companies. Rex is planning to take a year off to just ride. You can check him out at www.lonestarrider.com . Rex’s motto is “I love traveling and seeing new places and making new friends. And the best way to do it is hopping on my motorcycle and hitting the open road. I love that feeling and excitement of riding a motorcycle.
See ya on the road ...... Rex”. I concur 100%!

I cruised around the Craters that were produced in a massive volcanic explosion 2,000 years ago and it still looks pretty baron. As I left the Craters, it was cold and windy. I headed east through Arco, which was the first town ever to be powered by nuclear energy in 1955. Then I passed Atomic City, which is still operating as Idaho National Laboratory [Read: Nuclear Bomb Factory]. As the sun was setting, the cool turned to cold and I hit the throttle for Idaho Falls. I checked-in at the first motel I saw at around 8:00.

Tonight I gave Ole Bessy a whore bath with Windex and towels. I think she liked having her chrome and paint shining after 2,600 miles of bugs and grime. I know that I like being able to see through her previously bug-covered windscreen. Tomorrow I’ll head east about 80 mi. to Jackson Hole, WY and then north up through the Grand Tetons and into Yellowstone.

8/29/10 – It’s nice to be in a Red State

I slept well last night, content in knowing that I am finally in a Red State where people seem to have a certain down-to-earth sensibility that Blue State People don’t get. There are no shower police here, No Sir. Showers here flow as freely as the Snake River, just as Sir Isaac Shower designed it back in 1879. This is no Nanny State: There are no helmet laws; People here pack heat and they even have smoking rooms available in the hotel. Not that I want a smoking room, but I support the inalienable right of every grown-up to kill themselves slowly [or quickly in the case of David Carradine] in the privacy of their own room.

I woke up this morning at 9:00, only to realize that I had lost an hour when I crossed into ID yesterday and it was actually 10:00. It was cold and raining and I decided to spend the day in Boise and let the weather pass before heading off towards Yellowstone tomorrow. By early afternoon the rain stopped and it was partly sunny so I decided to do my laundry and get some lunch. Between the wash and dry cycles I stopped into a local Chili’s for late lunch and watched Matt Kuchar defeat Martin Laird in an exciting playoff at the Barclay’s golf tournament, while I enjoyed chicken tacos and an IBC. I stopped to rotate laundry and then rode out to the World Center for Birds of Prey, which was closed. By now the weather was mostly sunny, so I toured around Boise and I stumbled across Glen Campbell’s alma mater, the Northwest Lineman’s College. I also cruised around the Capitol and Boise State, but I couldn’t get into the stadium to snap a shot of the blue turf. Oh well, maybe I’ll see it on my next motorcycle odyssey.

Weather permitting, tomorrow I will head east through Craters of the Moon National Monument and on to Jackson, WY, which is just south of the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone National Parks. The forecast for my ride tomorrow calls for cool temperatures and a 50% chance of scattered thunderstorms. I’m praying the other 50% chance happens. There should be good pictures on tomorrow’s post. Good night from the land of Famous Potatoes.

8/28/10 – Smokey and the Bandit

Bend, Oregon boasts 300+ sunny days per year, but today was one of the other 64 days. Janet said it was over 100 degrees every day before my arrival. Last night the temperature dropped to freezing and then the rain started at around 9:00 this morning. The Gods saved the only day of nasty weather this summer for me…how nice. Frankly, I’d rather bundle up for cold, than deal with oppressive heat. You can always add layers to deal with cold, but you can’t get naked enough to cool down when the temperature is over 100.

I decided to have breakfast and let it warm-up before heading east on the Oregon Trail. I filled-up with gas at noon and throttled my bike onto Hwy 20 in light rain at 48 degrees. The nose of the wet high desert is fresh and earthy with notes of minerals, pine and sage brush. It’s a wonderful essence that offsets the downside of riding in the rain. The first 100 miles was a flat and straight shot and I only saw a few trucks and RV’s, but no cars.

My luck ended at mile 107, when I saw the first car in my rearview mirror. Unfortunately the car was an Oregon State Trooper in a Dodge Hemi with flashing lights. He had been hiding behind a rock and trees on the side of the road, completely invisible until it was too late. I implored him to cut me some slack and give me a warning, but he politely said “nice try, but not today”. Seems to me that setting a hidden speed trap in the middle of no place, is akin to fishing with dynamite, effective, but not very sporting. I can only hope that bad Karma will come to that trooper in the form of a spastic colon and chronic diarrhea.

At mile 150, the rain let up a bit and I stopped to set-up my XM radio. The road changed from flat and straight to twisty and upward along a rushing river through a high canyon of white limestone and red volcanic rocks – truly stunning. It was pretty, but I had to pay close attention to the road because there were high winds and lots of rocks that had fallen onto the wet road surface. The radio played “A Horse with No Name” and I became obsessed with the nonsensical lyric “In the desert, you can’t remeber your name,'cause there ain’t no one for to give you no name”. Who wrote this lyric and why ain’t there no one for to give him no learning?

Far eastern OR is “America's Onion Producer” and it was very windy. I finally crossed over the Snake River into Idaho and the wind abated and there were still lots of onion fields. I stopped at the old Fort Boise and read the plaques about all the trappers and fights with Indians back in the day. Then I headed southeast to Boise which is an area I’m familiar with. I passed by the old Zilog factory that now has a Micron sign out front. I checked into the Roadway Inn near downtown and negotiated the Royal Suite for $58.99 - it’s not elegant, but it’s large, warm and comfortable. I had dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack – Chowder, shrimp Louie and a Sam Adams. Life is good!

2/27/10 – Visiting Rodmans in Redmond

At 11:00 a.m. today I departed from the Palm Springs of Washington, heading 300+ miles south on Hwy 97 to visit my late cousin’s wife Janet Rodman and her lovely children Calvin [14] and Claire [9] at their home in Redmond, OR. For those who don’t know, my 46 year old cousin, Bo Rodman, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the spring of 2009 and shortly after visiting us on Easter 2009, he passed. We were very close as children and lost contact until shortly before his death. I’m grateful for the few months of reconnection we had.

The ride down central WA and OR was truly fabulous! The perfect asphalt toggles between lush farmlands, pine-covered mountains, golden fields of dry grassland, ghost towns and desolate brown rocky moonscapes that look like nuclear test sites. Up to 3500 feet and back to sea level, over and over again – perfect on a motorcycle, but hell for bicyclists. I passed windmill farms, Rivers, fields of hops, apple orchards, corn fields, alfalfa and flower crops. I included a picture of hops vines that grow as trellised vines about 12’ high and the flowers are used to naturally flavor and preserve beer. The truckers and RV drivers were courteous and moved right as I whizzed by. I stopped for gas in a ghost town and chatted with two 50-something bikers on a BMW enduro and a fake-Harley Suzuki. They ogled my bike and said they were on their way home to southern WA from a ride through ID. So far my decision to ride America’s highways and byways has been a real treat and much more pleasant than sterile interstate freeways.

I arrived in Redmond, OR at around 4p.m. and Calvin spotted me as he and Janet were driving to pick-up his friend. They turned around to great me. We had a nice chat and the kids sat on my bike and pretented to ride it. Calvin and Janet look forward to the day Calvin can get his own bike. They live in God’s chosen riding country. At around 5:30, they took off for a last summer vacation to an Indian casino resort with natural hot springs, pools, water slides and golf. I rode over to Smith Rock State Park [http://www.oregonstateparks.org/park_51.php]. This park is a world renowned outcropping of sheer rocks that draws world-class rock climbers from around the globe. It’s also a sanctuary for Golden Eagles and other wildlife. As I rode out of the park I saw a field filled with deer. It truly looked like a deer ranch.

I arrived in Bend, OR around 7:30 and I was cold, tired and hungry. I rode around town and stopped at a burger joint that has a scary clown as its mascot. After an Angus Burger, I felt better and I had a chance to locate a Choice Hotel on my I-phone. As I rode through Bend, I snapped a couple of pictures of the Deschutes River that runs through it. Bend is another town to add to your Bucket List. Fifteen minutes later, I was in my room and watching the New Orleans Saints dismantle the Chargers.

For you home-gamers, I’m 1,846 miles into my odyssey and tomorrow I’m planning to head east.

Cheers, John