10/3/10 – Beautiful Day in the Ozarks

This morning I was tempted to stay over in Springfield, MO to relax and take care of necessities like laundry and getting a haircut. Instead, I decided to get a late checkout, go take care of business, and then head northwest to KC for Jack Stack’s world famous BBQ . Jack Stack is on my personal Bucket List and it’s one of the few BBQ joint’s that has a 4-star ZAGAT rating. I decided to starve myself today to ensure the BBQ tonight will be an extra special treat. Breakfast was a bagel, coffee and juice.

I started my laundry at the motel and headed out to get a haircut. I soon found a Supercuts and was shocked that there were no Vietnamese hairdressers. After a transformation from my Hippie-biker look, I stopped at a Kum & Go to gas-up and get my 4th pair of cheap sunglasses so far. Somehow, I lost my sunglasses again yesterday. After I told the clerk that Kum & Go sounds like a drive-thru sperm bank, he told me the company held a contest to name their new designer coffee; the overwhelming favorite was “Kum-Cup“, but Corporate decided to go with the safer distant second choice of “Go-Cup”. I’m not making this up.

I hit the road at around 12:30 under crystal clear blue skies, cool temperature and a light northern breeze. Perfect! I’ve seen signs most of yesterday for the “Fantastic Caverns” and I’m usually not a sucker for superlatives, but today I was only planning to ride around 200 miles and I had time to burn, so what the heck. The 5 mile ride to the caverns on a quaint, beautiful Ozark road was worth the $22 price of admission. I was expecting something akin to the World’s biggest ball of yarn, but was very pleasantly surprised that these caverns are truly Fantastic! They were discovered by a guy in the 1,700’s when his dog chased a varmint into the cave. He was afraid to explore it so he hired 12 ladies from the Springfield Athletic Club to explore it for him. During the Civil War, it was used as a hide-out. During Prohibition, a steam generator was used to light it up and it became a Speak-Easy Casino and Bar until 2 guys a girl and a gun resulted in a dead man and the Sheriff closed it down. The KKK occupied it for a dozen years before it was turned into a venue for Hillbilly concerts for performers like Buck Owens and the Buckaroos. A rich family finally bought the place and turned it into a tourist attraction that’s one of only four caverns in the world that has motorized tours. It’s amazing to think that the stalactites and stalagmites form at a maximum rate of 1 inch per century.

It was 3:00 by the time I hit the road towards the promised land of Jack Stack. It was a pleasant ride, despite all the road work; lots of oak, hickory, lakes and rivers, with a few trees that are changing color. The notable scenic items in Missouri are the numerous Bible Colleges and strangely named churches like the Baptist Church of the Sacred Bleeding Heart of Jesus.

When I arrived at my motel, there was a Harley parked in front with a CA license plate. I met big Jim at the front desk and he’s a model airplane pole racer from Cupertino, CA. We chatted for awhile and I’m hopeful he’ll teach me to fly when we get back to CA. I watched the first quarter of the Sunday night game and then headed 7 miles west to Jack Stack for the treat of a lifetime!

When I arrived at around 9:00, Jack’s was closed. I felt like Chevy Chase arriving at Wally World. Are you kidding me? The world’s best BBQ joint is closed at 9:00 and I’m starving. It turn’s out the entire Bible Belt shuts down on Sundays. Don’t they know that the Sabbath is Saturday?

I had to settle for a Whopper tonight, but I will eat at Jack Stack tomorrow.

10/2/10 – Getting My Kicks on Route 66

The weather report called for mostly sunny, but it rained like crazy this morning. I shoved-off at around 11:30 under cloudy skies, cool temps in the low 60’s and generally windy conditions, but fortunately, no rain. There was a big food and music festival in downtown called “A Taste of St. Louis” that I couldn’t pass-up. I rode to the festival and quickly decided to try Rib City’s ribs. Although based in St. Louis, they recommend their baby back ribs and I can attest that they’re fantastic and better than their St. Louis ribs. I enjoyed my ribs and a Budweiser while watching the Food Network Champion of Chopped, Marc Bynum, doing a cooking demo and yucking it up with the crowd. It was a great event.

By 1:30, I was on the road southwest to Nixa, MO to meet Betty and Arnold Tunaley. I rode on I- 44, that’s basically the old Route 66. I passed by Ft. Leonard Wood, which is an Army base that some of my friends from High School got to enjoy during Boot Camp. However, they called it Ft. Leonard Wood, Misery because it’s freezing cold in the winter and Africa hot in the summer. No fun for a fortnight of war games, but not bad to ride through in the fall. The rock formations and trees here are much different than in the northeast. Most roads are carved through sedimentary limestone that alternates between whitish and reddish colors that were blasted-out to make room for the road. The trees are still mostly green down here and the scenery along my 250+ mile ride today was nice, but the wind was a bit fierce.

I arrived in Nixa around 6:15 and quickly found Betty and Arnold’s lovely home on King’s Carriage Road. Arnold told me his first bike was a 1927 Norton 500 and he’s been riding for about 70 years. He recently semi-retired his last BMW with a sidecar after about 300,000 miles and he’s got a new one they purchased on Ebay from the BMW Rider’s Association. Arnold is an aerospace mechanical engineer and he has modified all his bikes to ensure maximum comfort in the sidecar for his lovely bride. I love the way he calls her Lovey and the way they compliment each other is indeed a key reason for their 62 years of wedded bliss. I could tell that they have a true love and they understand what’s important in life. I aspire to live-up to their standards of courtesy and mutual adoration with my lovely bride and family.

After a tour through the shed to see the customizations of the older K-series BMW, we adjourned to the kitchen for a comforting supper of homemade chicken pot pie and red wine. Then we enjoyed desert of sherry wine cake and fresh brewed coffee before checking out their latest ride. I truly enjoyed my visit with the Tunaley’s and we seem in agreement on the fundamental issues of our time.

By the time I set-off it was crystal clear and cold [tonight a freeze is expected]. Within about 15 minutes I landed at a nice motel and called Helen to tell her all about my wonderful visit with her parents. Tonight I’m planning to chart my route home and get some good rest.

10/01/10 – A Big Arch Can Make a City

Today was a quintessential crystal clear sunny fall day. I was off to a rocky start after experiencing the worst shower of my life. A Pinko Commie in Mt. Vernon, IL installed a shower head that blasts a mist like the ones you see on patios in Arizona to cool off in the summer. You simply can’t get wet with this contraption and it’s impossible to rinse in a mist. This was the final straw for the state of Illinois; I’m officially declaring it the worst state I’ve visited. Everything here is more expensive than in neighboring states; the junk fees added to my motel bill were 33% of the total cost, gas is more expensive, you have to pay to drive on Federally funded roads and the shower Nazi’s are here in force despite the fact that there’s water everywhere. If the government needs a place to resume nuclear bomb testing, I vote they do it in Illinois.

I headed-out with shampoo residue still in my hair and stopped after 30 minutes to take a business call that ended-up getting rescheduled and then never happened. I rode into St. Louis and parked right in front of the big stainless steel arch. An older Australian couple walked by and Paul told me how much he loves the FJR 1300 motorcycle. We ended up spending the afternoon together. Paul had a 2003 FJR, but after many miles he bought a Honda GoldWing touring bike and he already has 75,000 miles on it. They are traveling around the U.S. in an RV and they started their journey in Death Valley, CA.

I watched an antiquated movie about the construction of the Arch back in the early 1960’s that had narration and a symphony soundtrack that sounded very dramatic like the early NFL Films. What really shocked me was the complete lack of safety procedures; the iron-workers wandered around 600 feet up, smoking cigarettes with no hard-hats or safety harnesses. They expected up to 13 casualties during construction, but there were none. The arch was built in 2 ½ years as a National Park and was totally funded by the Federal Government as a tribute to Western Expansion of the U.S. The park is dedicated to Thomas Jefferson. I saw a sculpture there by Frederic Remington that was identical to the ones I saw in the museum on the River. What a great idea; getting the Federal Government to finance a huge landmark to draw people into your city. The views from the top are phenomenal.

When I was in Montreal, I spoke to a gas station attendant who said “Why to you want to go to Quebec City? It’s boring and I prefer the high stress level of Montreal”. If you spend some time in VT, TN and NC, you will instantly see that the pace of life and the pace of speech is slower and it’s relaxing compared to NYC, Illinois or CA. I’m not a poster-child for low-stress, but it’s certainly nice to visit places like Nashville that let you feel low stress for awhile.

Tomorrow I’m planning to head west on Route 66 and stopping in Nixa, Mo to see a former colleague’s parents who have been riding BMW motorcycles with a sidecar for over 60 years. They recently retired their old bike and got a new one after nearly 300,000 miles!