9/28/10 – Howa All Y’all Do’ in?

Have you ever wondered how the South was settled by the King’s disciples and yet they turned the Queen’s English into something that’s almost incomprehensible? Virtually everywhere else in the U.S. people speak normal English, sure NY, NJ and New England have their own special quirks, but how did the South wander so far off the path? Last night when I asked the young clerk for a recommendation for dinner, he suggested the Mex-ee-Kan’ rest-rawnt nest doooora. He said it has a great Boa-are. I asked him three times what a Boa-are is and he finally told me it’s a place to drink alcohol. The people here are exceptionally nice and their language is even charming, but sometimes it’s a bit frustrating. After listening to the rain pound on my window most of the night, this morning was dry, cool and cloudy. Overall it was a good day to ride through the Blue Ridge and Smokey Mountains. As I rode through VA, TN and NC today, I learned there are three things people here love:

(1) Jesus - I stopped for lunch in the small town of Salem, VA that had 3 churches at one intersection. I’m pretty sure this is where parishioners flop around on the church floors, handle deadly vipers, and damn to Hell anyone who doesn’t cheer for the Hoakies.

(2) NASCAR - As I passed through Bristol, VA into Bristol, TN, it was pretty clear that people here love guys who drive around in circles at 200 MPH. The billboards all have NASCAR references like “Clean your laundry with the Tide-Ride”.

(3) College Football - People around here wear the colors of their college football team and their NASCAR sponsor.

One thing I noticed today was that the Blue Ridge Mountains are exceptionally green and the climbing vines take over complete forests, swallowing-up trees in thick foliage that looks like circus animals and big green ghosts. Also, there’s very little smoke in the Smokey Mountains, so perhaps the name refers to the fact that everyone here smokes rather that any particular attribute about the mountains themselves. Finally, I’m happy to report that the Fireworks Superstores have returned in Tennessee. I know there’s at least one other pyromaniac viewing my blog who loves fireworks as much as I do [you know who you are].

Tonight I set-up camp at a decent motel in Knoxville, TN, which is about a 30 minute ride to the Dragon’s Tail. If you have ignored my previous directives, please paste the following link into your browser to see the Dragon’s Tail http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74RQqdUly5U AND http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3210401031953742296#. Tomorrow, I’ll report on riding the Dragon’s Tail. Enough of my bloviating for today.